Shadow

I see falling trees
Swarms of killer bees
Dying of disease
When I see you

Memories of your fucked up past
A life that didn’t last
Never-ending compare and contrast
When I see you

I begin to hate
Emotions deteriorate
Apologies are too late
When I see you

All I see is red
I fucking want you dead
Violence in my head
When I see you

Once in my life

For once in my life
I thought I was happy
For once in my life
I thought I was sane
But then reality
Caught up with me
When I was killed in your game

A game
Of smiles freely given
A game
Of roads previously driven
A path, I always seem to chase
The enemy is your game
The enemy is that beautiful face

Thanks for the cruel intentions
And making me feel real
Thank you for being yourself
And letting me know what is real

Untitled

subtle smile, slurred phrases
you can’t look away

foreign bed, temporary denial
was that you yesterday?

Did you want it?
Did you refuse?
Was it success?
Was it abuse?

you can not tell
because you weren’t all there

all you remember is the sex, beer,
sweat and fuck in the air

friendly words
mistaken?
Were you really that confused?

Retrospect

I miss the days
when life wasn't so painful
I miss the days
when you were so beautiful
I miss the days
when I wasn't filled with self-doubt
I miss the days
when I knew what love was about
I miss the days
when I knew you were mine
I miss the days
when I didn't notice the time
I miss the days
when your words were true
I miss the days
when I knew you

i try for you, you try for him

did you really think I would stick around?
or did you just assume
too many confirmed images haunting me
we can’t even be in the same room
I can’t believe the things you’ve done
or the words you’ve said
I can’t believe you’re still in my life
and that I don’t want you dead
My never-ending devotion confuses me
I don’t know from where it came
I don’t know why I even tried
when you’ve only been thinking his name

Everything for Nothing

Silent death
My heart bleeds
My unyielding hatred
You continue to feed
My world has died
As I knew it would
You've shattered my life
As I knew you would
This life I live
I now live half-dead
Praying for the moment
I no longer see red
No matter what I say
No matter how I do
I continue this hopeless life
And it's all for you
I gave you my heart
I gave you my life
All I got in return
Was a blood stained knife
Which you used
To cut my heart in two
I have this heartless life
Because of you
I know time is running out
Because you're fading away
My life was all for you
Yet you never had anything to say

Overnight

Things could be better
Yet, they could be worse
You were my last
And you were my first
I knew the storm was coming
Yet, I do not know where it was made
Now, it's too late for shelter
Too late to look for shade
I know I said I was alright
And that I was okay with this
But I can't help myself
From wanting to clinch my fists
Where do we go from here?
Do we go forward, do we go back?
Which ever direction we choose
Could I ever win you back?
Because it seems that battle
Has already begun
It seems that war
Has already been won
I can't picture life
Without you by my side
My life ended overnight
But, at least I tried